Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.