Texts From Last Night

ronathon's Favorites Texts:

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.

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  (810): I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP. http://tfl.nu/97xo
  Replies (7) Good night (2171) Bad night (288) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.

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  (501): There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success. http://tfl.nu/8q5q
  Replies (4) Good night (1177) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?

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  (780): Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel? http://tfl.nu/7lkz
  Replies (4) Good night (720) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him

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  (801): NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him http://tfl.nu/eloy
  Replies (7) Good night (1532) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"

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  (713): Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words" http://tfl.nu/ql9t
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

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  (613): All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real. http://tfl.nu/5379
  Replies (10) Good night (2095) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.

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  (870): To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical. http://tfl.nu/vs7y
  Replies (4) Good night (2718) Bad night (578)
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  (619): View more from California

  Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich

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  (619): Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich http://tfl.nu/84vp
  Replies (5) Good night (641) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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  (501): I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit. http://tfl.nu/ez6v
  Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (128) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me

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  (847): as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me http://tfl.nu/nasi
  Replies (23) Good night (6001) Bad night (1544) Order T-Shirt
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.

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  (224): so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now. http://tfl.nu/4hn1
  Replies (33) Good night (12555) Bad night (1310)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you

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  (931): He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you http://tfl.nu/kuvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1677) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS

  (740): View more from Ohio

  BECAUSE SCIENCE

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  (440): WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS (740): BECAUSE SCIENCE http://tfl.nu/5ndo
  Replies (9) Good night (1247) Bad night (184)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

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  (360): I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow. http://tfl.nu/5cxp
  Replies (4) Good night (254) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.

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  (316): She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone. http://tfl.nu/tcs7
  Replies (13) Good night (559) Bad night (1717) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.

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  (570): I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women. (570): You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force. http://tfl.nu/ij9q
  Replies (6) Good night (1012) Bad night (354)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.

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  (305): I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast. http://tfl.nu/47xz
  Replies (8) Good night (1398) Bad night (1929) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.

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  (317): I fell into his fridge. I want to leave. http://tfl.nu/ilpg
  Replies (2) Good night (340) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN

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  (615): DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN http://tfl.nu/6g6b
  Replies (1) Good night (520) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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  (757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091
  Replies (297) Good night (73381) Bad night (2469) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.

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  (501): Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick. http://tfl.nu/s37k
  Replies (1) Good night (277) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon

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  (978): I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon http://tfl.nu/xy8w
  Replies (5) Good night (3337) Bad night (808) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire

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  (734): Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire http://tfl.nu/5fup
  Replies (6) Good night (1377) Bad night (315)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.

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  (306): This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks. http://tfl.nu/6laj
  Replies (4) Good night (1549) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt