Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.