Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
so explain again why im purple
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?