Texts From Last Night · Rosebud21's Favorites

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Rosebud21's Favorites Texts:

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(510): View more from California

It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.

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(510): It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him. http://tfl.nu/gszx

Replies (4) Good night (2661) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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(631): View more from New York

guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple

(1-631): View more from New York

whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?

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(631): guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple (1-631): whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread? http://tfl.nu/vnh0

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(630): View more from Illinois

Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.

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(630): Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze. http://tfl.nu/d5vp

Replies (112) Good night (1019) Bad night (23950)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

(1-314): View more from Missouri

What?

(314): View more from Missouri

I have a yeast infection.

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(314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns

Replies (175) Good night (1645) Bad night (27401)
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(209): View more from California

he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

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(209): he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period http://tfl.nu/tso5

Replies (217) Good night (1125) Bad night (28010) Order T-Shirt
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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.

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(616): Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up. http://tfl.nu/sgel

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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(505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h

Replies (134) Good night (6485) Bad night (53639)
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(619): View more from California

just caught grandpa beating off in the living room

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(619): just caught grandpa beating off in the living room http://tfl.nu/3g7q

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(571): View more from Virginia

So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.

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(571): So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder. http://tfl.nu/3ets

Replies (268) Good night (3334) Bad night (66309)
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(314): View more from Missouri

don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.

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(314): don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again. http://tfl.nu/ygo4

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(619): View more from California

Be still, my beating vagina.

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(619): Be still, my beating vagina. http://tfl.nu/qyal

Replies (22) Good night (3969) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work

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(217): she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work http://tfl.nu/qwhd

Replies (3) Good night (1921) Bad night (937) Order T-Shirt
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(805): View more from California

I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard

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(805): I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard http://tfl.nu/np0a

Replies (5) Good night (706) Bad night (1639) Order T-Shirt
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(516): View more from New York

Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.

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(516): Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven. http://tfl.nu/hg3t

Replies (280) Good night (52340) Bad night (3941) Order T-Shirt
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(915): View more from Texas

I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): View more from Texas

dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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(915): I told you I was good to drive (1-915): dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate http://tfl.nu/7qaj

Replies (52) Good night (68151) Bad night (1686) Order T-Shirt
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(757): View more from Virginia

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

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(757): At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP." http://tfl.nu/p091

Replies (292) Good night (69180) Bad night (1982) Order T-Shirt
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(919): View more from North Carolina

so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

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(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog. http://tfl.nu/73qd

Replies (434) Good night (107943) Bad night (8843) Order T-Shirt
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would do horrible things to your vagina.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Prove it.

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(617): I would do horrible things to your vagina. (978): Prove it. http://tfl.nu/qld3

Replies (178) Good night (89858) Bad night (3912)

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