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i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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