Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
