It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Porn is love you can see.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.