How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.