He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.