Texts From Last Night · CorkyPie's Favorites

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CorkyPie's Favorites Texts:

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

fireball beer pong. youre missing out

(732): View more from New Jersey

how is that even possible?

(908): View more from New Jersey

ove gloves.

(732): View more from New Jersey

be there in ten.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals

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(817): View more from Texas

just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child

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(518): View more from New York

and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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