Texts From Last Night · tacostandmmm's Favorites

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(972): View more from Texas

The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

Fav 22 5581 1892
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(330): View more from Ohio

why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?

(1-330): View more from Ohio

she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.

Fav 33 6190 2014
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(913): View more from Kansas

I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

Fav 11 6630 1423
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(630): View more from Illinois

If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.

Fav 15 1834 5676
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