Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
