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  • Submitted by ssimkins89 on Jul 8, 10 at 8:12pm

    it was actually you getting pounded by 9 dudes throughout the night.

    • 62 89
      Submitted by McFucken on Jul 9, 10 at 3:19pm

      i agree, sounds like buttsex to mee..

  • Submitted by klangford on Jul 8, 10 at 8:47pm

    If you fart vaseline then I'm sure you can go with 'horrible'

  • Submitted by jasboo on Jul 8, 10 at 8:18pm

    none of them fit you! you should have bought the "Trojan Jr."...

  • Submitted by Brentman12 on Jul 8, 10 at 8:13pm

    @mandygirl: you're still a cunt and as much of a bitch as everyone thinks you are.

    • 62 94
      Submitted by mandygirl on Jul 8, 10 at 8:28pm

      Look at how many thumbs down your "first" post has. Everyone thinks the idiot who calls "first" is a douchebag. Seriously, what the hell is the point? Do you win anything? Do you want a cookie or something? I may be a bitch, but I worked hard to earn the title. Your mom was born a cunt.

      • 52 80
        Submitted by alias10 on Jul 9, 10 at 7:34am

        You worked hard to earn your cunt? So you used to be a dude? That's not something to be proud of...

        • 59 71
          Submitted by mandygirl on Jul 11, 10 at 10:47am

          Learn to read, douche2. I said I worked hard to earn the title of bitch. Now go suck your dad's dick.

  • Submitted by venusvsmars on Jul 8, 10 at 9:17pm

    @Mandygirl: does it kill you to see someone say first? No. It doesn't harm you at all. You sound like you're 12 throwing out cunt and douchebag like that. Grow up and don't be proud of being a bitch.

  • Submitted by Brentman12 on Jul 8, 10 at 9:12pm

    @mandygirl: worked hard to become a bitch? What else comes with that title besides no one liking you? And can't see thumbs downs cause I use the iPhone app, and frankly don't give a shit.

    • 55 64
      Submitted by mandygirl on Jul 11, 10 at 10:50am

      And I should give a shit that you use the iPhone app? Does that make you special, or does the fact that you're mentally retarded do that for you?

  • 96 84
    Submitted by sexyupsguy on Jul 8, 10 at 11:24pm

    Perhaps you dreamed about fucking a car muffler? And, when you woke up you were exhausted! lol

  • 95 97
    Submitted by magic_medicine on Jul 9, 10 at 12:04am

    Arguing over the internet is like running in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded.

  • 73 69
    Submitted by SippinSally on Jul 9, 10 at 12:01am

    I would like to know why you still have the condoms in your bed? Riddle me this, does your asshole hurt..? If not, then it was a great night.

  • 78 85
    Submitted by RJenta on Jul 8, 10 at 9:35pm

    Ssimkins, that seems like it may be what happened:p and Mandy whatever you're an attention seeking whore for arguing with people you don't know on a fuckin app

  • 76 82
    Submitted by tennisgirl on Jul 8, 10 at 10:33pm

    Hmm, this oddly reminds me of Goldilocks and the Three edition.

  • 78 97
    Submitted by lovehayleyyy on Jul 8, 10 at 8:07pm

    Hahahha this is terrible

  • Submitted by Briannaaaaa on Jul 8, 10 at 10:03pm

    FIRST to say this: There's a FIRST time for everything. She might have been your FIRST true love, and now you don't even remember. Or it could've been the FIRST time you drunkenly masturbated nine times. Perhaps you bought condoms too big? I remember the FIRST time I did that. My boyfriend was so ashamed and upset. That was the FIRST and last time I ever bought 'em. What nao bitch?

    • 76 73
      Submitted by alias10 on Jul 9, 10 at 7:37am

      What the fuck is wrong with you?

  • 66 81
    Submitted by imoldgregg on Jul 8, 10 at 9:08pm

    This happens to me and Howard

  • 61 73
    Submitted by AcaciaJules on Jul 10, 10 at 4:22am

    If your @ss doesn't hurt, and you aren't aching in new unmentionable places, don't worry about it.

  • 66 85
    Submitted by thatguy1020 on Jul 9, 10 at 3:41am

    Hey everybody I bring you much joy please if you please pound me nine time please! :3 8>

  • 65 84
    Submitted by marsho on Jul 9, 10 at 12:08am

    You sir, have been gang assraped.

  • 64 83
    Submitted by hockeybabe on Jul 9, 10 at 10:18am

    Hahaha I love how all these are directed toward mandy. Poor girl I think arguing with douches on tfln is retarded too but she's right all the "first" people should be executed. It's annoying and from what I've seen most people feel this way.

  • 71 97
    Submitted by buzzcutt on Jul 8, 10 at 10:16pm

    does your fart sound like a foghorn this morning? if so, then there's your answer...

  • 57 76
    Submitted by LTChatman on Jul 9, 10 at 3:50am

    This one was really hillarious.

  • 45 56
    Submitted by dbc69 on Jul 6, 11 at 4:25pm

    did somebody fart? i smell burnt rubber

  • 49 65
    Submitted by austinonymouss on Jul 9, 10 at 2:28am

    Buzzcut omg

  • 62 91
    Submitted by SilverKnight on Jul 8, 10 at 8:09pm

    Hold on to fond memories, feels good man.

  • 58 85
    Submitted by pumpkin4305 on Jul 8, 10 at 11:31pm

    Had to be 856.... Lmao

  • 62 98
    Submitted by rodenberger on Jul 8, 10 at 8:17pm


  • 62 99
    Submitted by pimpstatus on Jul 8, 10 at 10:50pm

    I miss u nj.

  • 61 98
    Submitted by An0n on Jul 9, 10 at 2:10am

    Magic medicine that was a good one like five years ago. And a great girl would have meant you finding no condoms.

  • 48 77
    Submitted by boolou on Jul 9, 10 at 3:26am

    Lol @ sexyupsguy

  • 34 50
    Submitted by Beachbum111 on Aug 19, 12 at 6:57am

    I was in that line to bang you.

  • 51 84
    Submitted by stephcyanide on Jul 9, 10 at 6:10pm

    Sounds like a good time to me dude! \nAnd to all the douches arguing on this post: really?

  • 58 98
    Submitted by elite on Jul 9, 10 at 3:36am

    @ Briannaaaaa, you fail.... Terribly. You probably took so long planning out your witty "FIRST" comment, that clearly you became second. So sad... Not. :/

  • 56 94
    Submitted by cmillss on Jul 9, 10 at 12:35am

    9 girls?

  • 52 87
    Submitted by chastine on Jul 8, 10 at 9:53pm

    That is so amazing=]

  • Submitted by SundayDrive on Jul 8, 10 at 8:38pm

    South Jersey girls are the greatest period. Hold on to her.

  • 55 98
    Submitted by looger on Jul 9, 10 at 3:33am

    hahaha....I love the "first" posts cause they always start so much drama.....people take life way to seriously sometimes though. you gotta learn to laugh at the stupidity of the "first" post. it's great.

  • Submitted by MrK on Jul 8, 10 at 10:40pm

    Perhaps it was a massive orgy, or maybe you met nine awesome girls, or possibly some dude REALLY likes you.

  • Submitted by Brentman12 on Jul 8, 10 at 8:04pm

    Haha I remember the FIRST time that happened to me :)

    • Submitted by mandygirl on Jul 8, 10 at 8:06pm

      You're still a douchebag and not nearly as sly as you think.