Texts From Last Night

superjumpy's Favorites Texts:

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11374) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay

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  (404): i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/pvcx
  Replies (16) Good night (4740) Bad night (3079)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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  (774): According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/1yfv
  Replies (16) Good night (2551) Bad night (2443) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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  (214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu
  Replies (22) Good night (8979) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.

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  (281): Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character. http://tfl.nu/f69z
  Replies (11) Good night (7309) Bad night (971)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!

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  (712): My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN! http://tfl.nu/er39
  Replies (34) Good night (6409) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.

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  (818): Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works. http://tfl.nu/ca8d
  Replies (4) Good night (5439) Bad night (1149) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.

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  (973): UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to. http://tfl.nu/mbqt
  Replies (26) Good night (5460) Bad night (934)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  you would not believe what I got pierced last night...

  (540): View more from Virginia

  son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.

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  (434): you would not believe what I got pierced last night... (540): son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear. http://tfl.nu/q4w6
  Replies (61) Good night (1564) Bad night (6042)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (14716) Bad night (607)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Intervention is following me on twitter.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  wow.

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  (908): Intervention is following me on twitter. (440): wow. http://tfl.nu/4vti
  Replies (14) Good night (4938) Bad night (1131)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  ...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  That was a text you sent me last night.

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  (513): I think I'd do Clint Eastwood. (440): ...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now. (513): That was a text you sent me last night. http://tfl.nu/tvw9
  Replies (36) Good night (9441) Bad night (690)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.

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  (832): i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week. http://tfl.nu/mv1q
  Replies (64) Good night (785) Bad night (10424) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.

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  (503): I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you (541): I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6ejs
  Replies (55) Good night (12878) Bad night (625)
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  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (351) Good night (7018) Bad night (46844)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  6 min

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  (215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers (1-215): 6 min http://tfl.nu/dx1s
  Replies (64) Good night (9738) Bad night (955) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.

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  (916): They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door. http://tfl.nu/s1xt
  Replies (23) Good night (6018) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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  (519): and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" http://tfl.nu/uoap
  Replies (816) Good night (136712) Bad night (8408) Order T-Shirt