i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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