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You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
he thought i was a dude.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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