you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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