Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.