Texts From Last Night

laceyblanca's Favorites Texts:

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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.

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  (403): My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind. http://tfl.nu/y5d8
  Replies (15) Good night (3930) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.

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  (970): I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night. http://tfl.nu/sjta
  Replies (4) Good night (2355) Bad night (675) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles

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  (706): Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles http://tfl.nu/50ki
  Replies (24) Good night (897) Bad night (3264) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"

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  (402): Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails" http://tfl.nu/xka9
  Replies (6) Good night (2584) Bad night (820) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."

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  (724): You kept referring to your penis as "this guy." http://tfl.nu/osjv
  Replies (18) Good night (5063) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  What color are my eyes?

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  Ummmm... 34 C?

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  (519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v
  Replies (14) Good night (11474) Bad night (1175) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.

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  (203): She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level. http://tfl.nu/viu0
  Replies (15) Good night (5087) Bad night (822)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day

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  (414): Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day http://tfl.nu/nn34
  Replies (3) Good night (4761) Bad night (770) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics

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  (509): I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics http://tfl.nu/1cmu
  Replies (13) Good night (4719) Bad night (725) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high

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  (801): I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high http://tfl.nu/0yq2
  Replies (90) Good night (11908) Bad night (1017) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly

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  (970): Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly http://tfl.nu/eo7f
  Replies (71) Good night (503) Bad night (6681) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"

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  (757): I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!" http://tfl.nu/94sw
  Replies (84) Good night (13094) Bad night (1538) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens

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  (407): I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens http://tfl.nu/da7z
  Replies (5) Good night (3587) Bad night (752) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I get to be your mom.

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  (847): Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth? (312): I get to be your mom. http://tfl.nu/nmh7
  Replies (11) Good night (3622) Bad night (1238)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.

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  (773): I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe. http://tfl.nu/xtio
  Replies (6) Good night (3014) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.

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  (919): All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on. http://tfl.nu/8snd
  Replies (15) Good night (5227) Bad night (805) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.

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  (773): I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit. http://tfl.nu/2ngx
  Replies (9) Good night (3957) Bad night (888) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.

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  (+44): She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them. http://tfl.nu/h4ql
  Replies (12) Good night (3622) Bad night (1171) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?

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  (519): I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right? http://tfl.nu/a685
  Replies (14) Good night (2740) Bad night (1437) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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  (310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4
  Replies (10) Good night (4215) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  What did you cook with whisky?

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We started a fire.

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  (306): We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky. (1-306): What did you cook with whisky? (306): We started a fire. http://tfl.nu/4y3v
  Replies (11) Good night (5842) Bad night (1038)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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  (604): He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face. http://tfl.nu/1cal
  Replies (11) Good night (2734) Bad night (1182) Order T-Shirt
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.

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  (715): Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober. http://tfl.nu/abtg
  Replies (2) Good night (3373) Bad night (830)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

  (607): View more from New York

  Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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  (607): Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head? (607): Nevermind, it's in the dryer. http://tfl.nu/r8jx
  Replies (6) Good night (3318) Bad night (792)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

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  (361): As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you. http://tfl.nu/u1yg
  Replies (12) Good night (6844) Bad night (1352) Order T-Shirt