Texts From Last Night

hils07's Favorites Texts:

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.

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  (240): I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way. http://tfl.nu/5yxg
  Replies (26) Good night (3892) Bad night (1346) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.

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  (352): I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern. http://tfl.nu/54kf
  Replies (16) Good night (3481) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures

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  (216): normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures http://tfl.nu/psn6
  Replies (24) Good night (7875) Bad night (570)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion

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  (480): my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion http://tfl.nu/golc
  Replies (262) Good night (3121) Bad night (30401) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  the red head has a bf

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

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  (843): the red head has a bf (1-843): just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score http://tfl.nu/bdta
  Replies (117) Good night (43644) Bad night (2950) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.

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  (417): I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/6bqy
  Replies (15) Good night (4462) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both

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  (919): I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both http://tfl.nu/fi30
  Replies (13) Good night (3875) Bad night (615) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.

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  (518): plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/e2rh
  Replies (29) Good night (5476) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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  (+65): View more from

  No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.

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  (+65): No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car. http://tfl.nu/46mc
  Replies (20) Good night (4267) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed

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  (701): She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed http://tfl.nu/42qb
  Replies (6) Good night (3426) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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  (+61): Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever. http://tfl.nu/klad
  Replies (20) Good night (6855) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.

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  (617): He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all. http://tfl.nu/5q9i
  Replies (10) Good night (4820) Bad night (984) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.

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  (760): She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome. http://tfl.nu/43xh
  Replies (8) Good night (3017) Bad night (762) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.

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  (425): Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight. http://tfl.nu/mywq
  Replies (14) Good night (5254) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..

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  (615): it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex.. http://tfl.nu/6q5t
  Replies (13) Good night (795) Bad night (2970) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.

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  (707): He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk. http://tfl.nu/vg98
  Replies (18) Good night (658) Bad night (5576) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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  (901): You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury http://tfl.nu/7ksy
  Replies (17) Good night (5077) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

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  (207): Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask. http://tfl.nu/6wlk
  Replies (6) Good night (2592) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american

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  (201): I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american http://tfl.nu/02ni
  Replies (191) Good night (2643) Bad night (14802) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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  (678): He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going. http://tfl.nu/db5s
  Replies (20) Good night (4395) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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  (347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja
  Replies (6) Good night (4829) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

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  (765): So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night? http://tfl.nu/0nca
  Replies (16) Good night (4710) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.

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  (443): There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic. http://tfl.nu/18x8
  Replies (31) Good night (1116) Bad night (4742) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head

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  (604): it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head http://tfl.nu/xa8x
  Replies (38) Good night (4778) Bad night (1206) Order T-Shirt