I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
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And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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