If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.