i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
