i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!