Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests