oh god the rape fog is back!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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