I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
