We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I don't think brook has ever known best
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them