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  • 73 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:15pm

    yay for curdled yeast infections

  • 68 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:26pm

    anal chocolate ice cream

  • 62 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:07pm

    wow.. ice cream out of a strippers vag? BAD idea lol

  • 57 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:13pm

    neopolitan...steer clear of the double fudge brownie

  • 52 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:35pm

    landing on the moon and dinos

  • 52 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:00pm

    Is there a way I can unread this thread? I'll continue to read to find out the answer.

  • 59 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:53pm

    Heck, at least it wasn't frozen YOGURT!

  • 61 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 9:10pm

    am i really the first person to wonder what the stripper was doing with ice cream IN her vag in the first place? does she walk around like that just in case or was it a special occasion??

  • 57 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 8:24pm

    I hope it wasn't strawberry!

  • 51 58
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:38pm

    pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven, thats the difference betwen jews and pizza

  • 49 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 11:28pm

    1 646 285 4771 CALL HIM AND TELL HIM WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG HE IS

  • 45 53
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:23pm

    I don't see how Nazis and all the killing is humorous to all you assholes

  • 50 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:28pm

    actually 3:13 this text really wasn't funny at all.

  • 60 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 4:23pm

    Isn't getting sugary stuff in on or near your vag bad because it causes infections?

  • 62 89
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 6:40pm

    4:35, YES. Pineapple Express: "You wanted to eat that lollipop out of the hooker's snatch, you wanted to do it!" / "Yeah, and what'd you do? Ate a box of Nerds out of her butthole!!!"

  • 50 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:35pm

    How many jews can fit in a Honda civic? Maybe 4-5 in the seats and then an extra fifty in the ash tray.

  • 54 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:03pm

    Doesn't that make you wonder why you still hang out with him? And 3:02, NO ONE FUCKING CARES. Learn how to spell first.

  • 51 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 21, 09 at 3:35am

    I shoot jelly beans out of mine

  • 50 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:42am

    FUCK THIS UNKNOWN ERROR BULLSHIT

  • 44 56
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 8:38pm

    the site should have like and dislike options

  • 54 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 9:21pm

    ben and jerry's ...here is your chance for a new one....pussalicious

  • 51 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 1:35am

    hey boys i can take about 8 cocks in my mouth another 6 in my vagina. seen anyone more talented? i dont think so

  • 56 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 6:22am

    Have fun with the chlamydia!

  • 46 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:10pm

    dont know what you guy are talking about, that's the best way to eat ice cream! justtttt kidding.

  • 51 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:55pm

    Where can I eat ice cream

  • 51 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:41pm

    Nazi land is awesome. You can camp there if you want to stay the night.

  • 46 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 10:41pm

    holy shit that's hilarious. Get your buddies drunk in vegas.

  • 49 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 10:14pm

    435, the jokes supposed to be a VW not a honda. ya know. cause the germans make them.

  • 51 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:59pm

    hahahahahahaahhahaha holy shit 341 #1, that is awful....and people, he might be proud of it

  • 45 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:12pm

    id like a scoop of herpes with chocolate jimmies.

  • 44 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:55am

    fuck everyone who thinks their opinion matters

  • 49 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:43am

    Haha 3:19 (2) so people who disagree with 3:10 (2) are Nazis? Fuck you.

  • 49 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:29pm

    "go back to nazi land you nazi freaks" ....Oh, 3:19. You are in desperate need of a life.

  • 44 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 12:49am

    11:28- why do you have to be a bitch??? put someones number on a web site so random people could call him??? really???

  • 37 51
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:44pm

    great fuckin line drop 430, hangover

  • 43 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:42pm

    4:40 - you sound like my kind of person

  • 45 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:12pm

    3.19 from a song Belsen is a gas , so the people say, round up all the jews and take them all away, life is so much fun, wish you were here, write it on a ostcard and write it clear....stfu about nazi land you dozy twunt

  • 46 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 1:37am

    I'm on a dolphin doin flips n shit

  • 51 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:19pm

    3:10 is awesome, lay off. he's just expressing himself. freedom of speech bitches. go back to nazi land you nazi freaks

  • 45 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 18, 09 at 4:55pm

    that has to hurt It's like holding ice cubes to your crotch. Not that I've ever tried it, but it's not exactly pleasant.

  • 41 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 6:15am

    4:23 not if you're hygienic try it it's fun

  • 50 80
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 9:14pm

    She's a stripper, 9:10. I bet there have been many, many, objects in her vagina.

  • 35 50
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:38pm

    kinda reminds me of pineapple express

  • 54 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:39pm

    i am not sure what kind of strippers you all are going to see but the ones i know are high class and squeeky clean. i would not hesitate to eat ice cream off one of their monkey bumps.

  • 43 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:50pm

    5:00 - what has been seen cannot be unseen. sorry.

  • 46 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:03pm

    3:02 you ate ice cream out of a stripper's asshole

  • 41 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:36pm

    "nazi Land" is that an amusement park???

  • 42 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 6:17pm

    PINEAPPLE EXPRESS! Ahh I trying to remember where I heard someting like this before. Thanks 4:38 #2.

  • 24 34
    Submitted by yewinnhard on Apr 26, 12 at 7:08pm

    You should remind him of it too, that'd shut him up real fast.

  • 44 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 1:52am

    that makes him a pimp and you dumb

  • 33 52
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:34pm

    the Holocaust never happened. it was created by the government to keep us in line and scare our children

  • 40 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 11:39pm

    as long as it is bacon flavoured ice cream he wins

  • 35 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:30pm

    I didn't know they gave rings out in the holocaust

  • 42 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:33pm

    never thought i'd be on a boat, its a big blue watery road. poseidon look at me

  • 42 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 5:19am

    At first it sounds awesome, but then u realize that he's gone to where a lot of other people have been too . =P -----> o_0 yuck

  • 50 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:03pm

    this site's system should disallow shit heads' posts containing the letters f i r s t

  • 44 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:32pm

    those aren't bunny tracks................there herps scabs!

  • 39 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 9:37pm

    i'm flippin burgers you at kinko's straight flippin copies..

  • 40 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:00pm

    Nazi land = Auschwitz (but with a smile)

  • 48 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 8:26pm

    banana vaginanananananana

  • 44 79
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:05pm

    Nazi land...the trains there are always so crowded and a bunch of big holes are being dug...I wonder if they are putting in new rides?

  • 42 75
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:41pm

    you would eat ice cream out of a strippers vagina? eww. all strippers are trashy hoes

  • 47 85
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:10pm

    this isn't a tfln, its just a regular text.

  • 45 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 17, 09 at 11:36am

    that makes you feel better?

  • 44 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 5:00pm

    i hope the copy and paste people die, slowly

  • 40 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:43pm

    I thank the jews for being able to finance movies and tv shows....they own hollywood and it scares the shit out of me

  • 37 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:43pm

    3:39 is a stripper, or his mom/girl friend is

  • 30 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:40pm

    4:23, cheer the fuck up. The world is a big, shitty place, and you can really only do one of two things. You can cry at it, and then you'll never stop, or you can take things less seriously and crack jokes to alleviate the utter crushing pointlessness of it all.

  • 51 96
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:46pm

    maybe 3:39 is a she...or maybe they were just making a joke. anyone ever heard of sarcasm?

  • 43 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:03pm

    what flavor of stripper/ice cream? This makes all the differenc in the world.

  • 41 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:29pm

    So the 'he' in said texts wins x 2? I don't get it.

  • 44 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 7:15pm

    Love the Hangover drop!! Awesome!!!

  • 41 82
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 09 at 5:02pm

    It's usually whipped cream.

  • 43 88
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:19pm

    Ha ha, vagilla ice cream.

  • 42 87
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:13pm

    Yes 3:10 (2) we realize that this site has deviated from "Texts from last night" to "Funny texts that I happened to send or receive". However, it is still funny so STFU

  • 34 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:03pm

    i've never had a herpes sundae. how did he like it?

  • 32 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 2:15pm

    2:19 your a dumbass, have you ever heard of sarcasm.

  • 32 73
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 3:39pm

    haven't we all been there before?

  • 35 81
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 16, 09 at 12:07am

    this aint sea world, this as real as it gets!

  • 35 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 15, 09 at 4:02pm

    nazi land is ok, but the showers smell like death and the food sucks