Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor