And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
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