You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.