She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby