Texts From Last Night · vgallday's Favorites

vgallday's Favorites Texts:

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(270): View more from Kentucky

The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".

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(270): The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard". http://tfl.nu/w1c8

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(206): View more from Washington

it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"

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(206): it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting" http://tfl.nu/ix3k

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(516): View more from New York

I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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(516): I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss http://tfl.nu/w0b9

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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(815): Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself. http://tfl.nu/xo78

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Why am I in a dog kennel?

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

It was for your own safety

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(803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni

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(514): View more from Quebec

Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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(514): Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta. http://tfl.nu/sa2y

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(303): View more from Colorado

you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.

(303): View more from Colorado

and I must say, you were very persuasive

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(303): you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight. (303): and I must say, you were very persuasive http://tfl.nu/e18p

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(850): View more from Florida

Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.

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(850): Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos. http://tfl.nu/15bf

Replies (74) Good night (17460) Bad night (1329)
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(812): View more from Indiana

The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?

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(812): The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean? http://tfl.nu/84o9

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

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(502): I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer http://tfl.nu/cllh

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

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(303): I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund. http://tfl.nu/xrnk

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(713): View more from Texas

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

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(713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl

Replies (123) Good night (46691) Bad night (1710)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again

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(815): Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again http://tfl.nu/470y

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(802): View more from Vermont

OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

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(802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made. http://tfl.nu/87yq

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(440): View more from Ohio

The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

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(440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree" http://tfl.nu/6rf6

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(604): View more from British Columbia

She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.

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(604): She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking. http://tfl.nu/ilmx

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(541): View more from Oregon

So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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(541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap

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(315): View more from New York

i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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(315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss

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(813): View more from Florida

I'm fucking your sister right now.

(1-813): View more from Florida

You motherfucker

(813): View more from Florida

She's next.

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(813): I'm fucking your sister right now. (1-813): You motherfucker (813): She's next. http://tfl.nu/gaup

Replies (152) Good night (65498) Bad night (3464)

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