after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.