Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"