Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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