I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.