Texts From Last Night · aliceforever's Favorites

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aliceforever's Favorites Texts:

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(906): View more from Michigan

Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

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(516): View more from New York

How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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(587): View more from Alberta

Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.

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