Texts From Last Night

aliceforever's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists. http://tfl.nu/e9b4
  Replies (3) Good night (867) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently http://tfl.nu/6pjr
  Replies (1) Good night (181) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted? http://tfl.nu/oqcu
  Replies (9) Good night (466) Bad night (617) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME http://tfl.nu/m336
  Replies (18) Good night (2372) Bad night (511) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs" http://tfl.nu/jaco
  Replies (6) Good night (2722) Bad night (1113) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear. http://tfl.nu/o88n
  Replies (10) Good night (437) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence http://tfl.nu/48zv
  Replies (3) Good night (1364) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower." http://tfl.nu/7vf5
  Replies (4) Good night (1694) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some. http://tfl.nu/upkj
  Replies (5) Good night (1051) Bad night (3012) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test. http://tfl.nu/znwq
  Replies (4) Good night (4991) Bad night (933) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire. http://tfl.nu/vw34
  Replies (11) Good night (2990) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent. http://tfl.nu/g68o
  Replies (7) Good night (1433) Bad night (3721)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank http://tfl.nu/rnlw
  Replies (22) Good night (617) Bad night (1806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts" http://tfl.nu/th5a
  Replies (37) Good night (1430) Bad night (6774) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable. http://tfl.nu/b0tu
  Replies (18) Good night (748) Bad night (3037) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high http://tfl.nu/1lyw
  Replies (24) Good night (4779) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am? http://tfl.nu/ppdn
  Replies (116) Good night (65439) Bad night (3902) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing. http://tfl.nu/3pw8
  Replies (18) Good night (5731) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex. http://tfl.nu/wrcv
  Replies (14) Good night (3641) Bad night (1186)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you. http://tfl.nu/kclk
  Replies (26) Good night (908) Bad night (4399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros http://tfl.nu/wzjy
  Replies (24) Good night (6029) Bad night (711) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood. http://tfl.nu/4fl8
  Replies (7) Good night (2007) Bad night (1687) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon http://tfl.nu/xy8w
  Replies (5) Good night (3336) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch http://tfl.nu/4wbs
  Replies (4) Good night (5146) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant http://tfl.nu/amxy
  Replies (29) Good night (1108) Bad night (5786) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  bad decision saturdays are such a good decision

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): bad decision saturdays are such a good decision http://tfl.nu/ffui
  Replies (3) Good night (3499) Bad night (749) Order T-Shirt