Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"