you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
