Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.