somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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