idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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