You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.