all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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