she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
you had me at cake vodka
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
