Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
