just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
