all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
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