I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
