What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Do vagina's smell?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
